Hot Mess

The feelings of inadequacy can come flickering in.
(Thankfully they no longer flood my thoughts)

All that needs to be done and isn’t ever fully done…
Caring of the children’s individual emotional needs.  Keeping up with extended family in meaningful ways.  How the house isn’t kept.  How the children occupy their time.  Packing up this house in an orderly manner (ha!). What I’m doing or not doing.  Undone jobs from the bathrooms to checking the bank account.  Caring for my friends. My own business that needs  my attention and perseverance.  My own time spiritually and socially.  And the endless meal preparation.  Children and chores that aren’t consistent.

And I have this distinct strong urgent desire (I’ve had it for decades)…

I really ought to be able to get my life together.  

A schedule.  A plan.  Self-discipline.  A journaling or calendaring method.
SOMETHING!

Then this meme came by.

IMG_1206

Yes.  Yes.

I must welcome what is.
Deep breath.

A mess

&

there has been and is and will be GRACE over this messy life of mine.

AND moreover, grace over ME.
Grace over Me and my sincere desire for order and predictability and stability
&
my proclivity to messy creativity and procrastination and impulsivity
sidenote: I sent this meme to the ex-mister because I knew he’d get it.  And he said he almost sent the very meme to me but didn’t want offend me.  It all fell apart but we still have a history.   Grace over THAT, too.

Because remember my motto

IMG_0778

And maybe, just maybe accepting the messy-ness and sassy-ness and bad assy-ness and classy-ness is part of accepting grace for ALL of myself.

 

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