To dream a badass dream

I still have my dream.

A farmhouse with a deep wraparound porch.
Garden beds overflowing with herbs and edible flowers.
Berries ripening in season.
Preserving the harvest
A cutting garden to create bouquet to share with friends and neighbors.

Children playing inside and out.
Family and friends gathered inside and out.
Yummy food.
Art projects in process
Laughter
Intersting conversation.

In my heart of hearts I want to share daily life with a husband, children, a delightful home, a garden, paints, and books.  This is a dream several decades and very tender in light of the divorce this year.  This probably my most ‘badass’ thing to write because it’s uncomfortable and feels very vulnerable to continue to hold on to this dream.

There is a nasty voice that whispers, “You lost that dream.  Just be thankfully you have children and get used to making do.  You should just be thankful you are’t in a worse state.”  Ouch.

I really didn’t know all that was there until I started typing.
Now tears are flowing.

People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability
and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.
-Brene Brown

I am going to be present in my life.
AND I am going to keep my dreams.

AND remember who I am. 

BUT…..
Right now I’m packing up my household and will be moved into a new one in 20 days.  EEKK!

Grace.  Strength.
IMG_1057And rest between the work.

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